Relationship Development
Relationship development that occurs during adolescence
Changes in adolescent physical and cognitive development are also accompanied by major changes in an adolescent's relationships with others - including family members and friends. Family relationships are often reorganized with the onset of puberty, driven by the desire for increased autonomy, and increased emotional distance between teens and their parents. Adolescent attention often shifts to a more intense focus on social interactions and friendships expanding to include members from both sexes. Sexual maturity marks the need to reorganize friendships again, to include an increased interest in relationships and dating.
Developmental changes in relationship with self
It is also during adolescence, with a focus on changing relationships with others, that a new understanding of one's self emerges. This may include changes in the following self-concepts:
- independence
Independence is defined as making decisions for one's self and acting on the basis of one's own thought processes, judgment, and decision making. An important part of the developmental process for adolescents is to learn to work out problems independently. With increasing cognitive and intuitive abilities, adolescents begin to face new responsibilities and to enjoy independent thoughts and actions. Adolescents begin to have thoughts and fantasies about their future and adult life (college or job training, work, and relationships).
- identity
Identity is defined as a sense of self or self knowledge about one's characteristics, or personality. A necessary part of adolescence is to achieve a sense of a personal identity and a more secure sense of self. As an adolescent begins to gain comfort with, and acceptance of, a more mature physical body, begins to use his/her own judgment, begins to make decisions independently, and begins to address his/her own problems, he/she begins to develop a concept of himself/herself as an individual, and thus an identity.
- self-esteem
Self-esteem is defined as the feelings someone has about themselves. Self-esteem can be estimated by the answer to the question "How much do I like myself?" Many adolescents have a decrease in self-esteem as they begin to incorporate these new ways of thinking, changes in their physical appearance, as well as their appreciation for a sense of future goals and challenges. During adolescence, teens become more thoughtful about who they are and who they want to be. They notice differences in the way they act and the way they think they should act. Once teens start thinking about their actions and characteristics, they are confronted with how they judge themselves. Females tend to have less self-esteem than males, in part due to perceived social expectations for themselves, both in terms of their mental ability and physical appearance. Typically, self-esteem increases during late adolescence as teens develop a better sense of who they are.
The amount of time spent with friends increases during the course of adolescence. Most often, teenagers enjoy the time they spend with their friends more than other activities. They report feeling more understood and accepted by their friends. Less and less time is spent with parents and other family members. Close friendships tend to develop between adolescents and young adults that are more similar in nature, interest and social class than younger age friendships. While childhood friends tend to be based on common activities, adolescent friendships expand to include similarities in attitudes, values, loyalty, and intimacy, as well as common activities. Friendships also tend to be more similar in level of involvement in academic and educational interest. Especially for girls, close, intimate, self-disclosing conversations with friends help to explore identities and define their sense of self. Conversations within these important friendships also assist adolescents in exploring their sexuality and how they feel about it.
Developmental changes in sexual relationships
The adolescent transition to sexual relationships is influenced by sexual interest and by social and cultural influences and expectations. Social and cultural expectations and behaviors in sexual relationships are learned from observations and practice. During adolescence, developmental tasks include struggles to gain control over sexual and aggressive urges, and discovering new and appealing potential or actual love relationships. Sexual behaviors during adolescents may include impulsive behavior, a wide range of experimental interactions of mutual exploring, and eventually intercourse. Biological differences, and differences in the socialization of males and females, set the stage for males and females to have different expectations of sexual and love relationships that may influence sexual experiences and may also have consequences for later sexual behavior and partnerships. Ultimately, achievement of a mutually satisfying sexual partnership within a love relationship may be established.
Developmental changes in family relationships
One of the developmental tasks of adolescence is to achieve separation from the family to emerge into an independent young adult. A part of this process is coming to terms with specific feelings about their family. During adolescence, teens begin to realize that their parents and significant authority figures do not know everything or have solutions to all types of struggles. Some adolescent rebellion against parents is common, normal and healthy. As adolescents become more independent from their parents, they are more likely to turn to their peers for advice. With sufficient time and maturization on the part of both the adolescent and their parents, a stronger adult child-parent relationship develops.
Written 11/00
Rev. 12/07
