Get a Jump on School Anxiety
It can be thrilling or scary, and no two children will adapt the same way to "going to real school."
The first days of school for 5- and 6-year olds can leave children "overwhelmed with change, anxious about social situations and frustrated with lack of control," says Jeffrey Drasnin, MD, a Hyde Park pediatrician. Alert parents can help their children negotiate this important transition.
"Where do I go? Will anyone sit with me at lunch? What if my teacher doesn't like me?" are typical worries of youngsters starting school.
"Children don't do well with uncertainty," says Dr. Drasnin. "If your child is anxious about finding a bus or classroom, walk through the bus routine together or go see the classroom over the summer."
If parents put a positive spin on the beginning of school, most children will adopt the routine easily. But there are always a few who struggle.
Staying Alert to Signals for Help
These are the children who, after a few days, still verbalize their worries with comments such as, "I don't like school," or "School is stupid."
"I encourage parents to talk to their children every day about school, if possible as soon as they get off the bus," Dr. Drasnin says. "Start the conversation on a positive note. Instead of asking, 'How did school go today?' try 'What was your favorite part of school?'"
Sometimes children complain that "my belly hurts." Parents should alert the pediatrician about their child's fears so the doctor can talk directly to the child about school. If there's no physical cause of pain, parents can respond to the next day's complaint with, "The doctor says you're okay."
When should parents be concerned enough to bring teachers into the picture?
"Don't run in the first few days. But if you get reports that don't match what you were expecting of your child, get in touch with the teacher," he says.
Head Off Anxiety Build-up
He warns parents not to brush off youngsters' school anxiety, or it can snowball into something more serious. If children don't deal with their anxiety, it only builds. When it does, he notes they often seem to "have a shorter fuse, have more outbursts, spend more time off-task, and look for other non-productive outlets for their pent-up anxiety."
At school, this translates into being aloof around friends and avoiding interaction with others because they are so fixated on their anxiety. Acting out and sudden outbursts can lead to poor grades and to situations where teachers have to discipline them.
Parents can help children work through their anxiety by communicating openly with them. "Share about times when you didn't feel like going to school, and let them know that other children feel the same way, even though it might not appear that way."
How parents handle this early resistance can set the tone for the rest of the year and for the rest of the child's schooling. "Be excited about learning at home too," he says, "and let them know that you value education for what it has helped you become."
But he also counsels honesty in talking about school before the school year begins, and on those days when it seems like a chore for children to get out of bed.
"Tell them that sometimes school will be fun and sometimes it will be hard," says Dr. Drasnin. "Let them know whichever it is on any particular day, you'll be there to support them.
