Learning to Live with ADHD
When parents hear their child has a medical condition, feelings of denial, self-doubt and fear often set in. It was no different for Jim and Natalie Allen (not their real names) when their daughter, Stacy, was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) last summer.
Jim wanted to believe it was nothing. Natalie questioned whether something she did during her pregnancy was to blame. "To me, she's perfect," Natalie says of Stacy, 8. "It was hard to think anything was wrong with her. But we had to face it because Stacy was so affected by it. I worried about her selfconfidence."
While some kids with ADHD are often restless or hyperactive, Stacy's main symptoms were forgetfulness and excessive talking. She had trouble remembering to complete seemingly simple tasks:
- Making the bed
- Getting dressed
- Picking up her toys
At school, "Stacy didn't disrupt the class, but her mind wasn't there," Natalie says. "She would daydream a lot."
Accepting the Diagnosis
When Natalie realized that Stacy noticed these things in herself, she decided the family needed to accept the diagnosis and tackle it head on. Not wanting Stacy's grades to drop as she entered the second grade, Natalie decided to try medication to help control Stacy's ADHD.
"It's hard to put your child on medication," Natalie says. "But she's happier when she's on it. You can see a huge difference between when she's on her medication and when she's not. She can focus better. Her worrying stopped. Her nightmares stopped."
Ways to Cope
Natalie offers these tips for other families facing the challenges this condition can bring about:
- Keep the needs of the child first – realize that this is a problem the child can't help.
- Get the child's school involved so the teachers and school staff can lend a hand.
- Talk to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a specialist if what you've been trying so far hasn't worked.
- Take advantage of the resources around you. Those Natalie has found helpful at Cincinnati Children's include the Family Resource Center and a behavior therapy parenting group for parents of kids with ADHD.
At the behavior therapy group, Natalie found talking to other parents of children with ADHD helped relieve some of the doubt and questions she had. She also learned techniques for helping Stacy. She makes reward charts for Stacy and offers incentives for finishing a job. Stacy has taken so well to this approach that she now makes charts for her dog, and the Golden Retriever gets rewards, too!
Natalie hopes that Stacy won't always have to take medication. But she feels the benefits are worthwhile. It's been a joy for the Allens to see Stacy focus on finishing tasks, and concentrate better during her dance and tumbling classes.
For Jim and Natalie, acceptance has led to understanding. "Some people don't want to admit their child has a problem," Natalie says, "but that doesn't do the child any good. This is just another part of Stacy's personality that makes her who she is."
