Surfing Safety for the Internet
When many of today's parents were young, computers were oversized "machines" stored in climate-controlled rooms. A generation later, all of that power is packed into desktop and laptop models that provide easy access to users of all ages, allowing them to chat with people in other countries or look up information online, without ever leaving home.
But the downside of easy access to this virtual world concerns Ann Nelson, MD, a mother of four. In the past six months, she has begun talking about internet safety to her 7- to 9-year-old patients at their regular checkups.
"What prompted this was the realization that my 12-year-old daughter was old enough to start getting into chat rooms," says the Anderson Township pediatrician. Chat rooms allow real-time conversation, instantly transmitted and unmonitored.
Although many middle-school-age children aren't into chat rooms yet, they do use the internet for school research, email and online games. Before they get too absorbed, parents need to talk to them about safety and set limits.
Monitor Use
"Our children have to ask permission to watch television, use the internet, or turn on PlayStation", the same as they would ask permission to go outside to play," Dr. Nelson says. "Another rule is that they have to complete homework and chores before using the computer for pleasure."
One of the best ways to monitor internet use is to put the computer in a primary living space, such as the kitchen or family room. If children use computers in their rooms, parents need to make frequent surveillance trips to check how they're being used. Check the computer's history to know what web sites are being hit.
Some parents insist that youngsters share an email address with them, or they install "filters," available from internet service providers, to block questionable sites. Others have their children sign contracts that lay out terms of home computer use.
Set Rules
Dr. Nelson recommends posting rules for internet use near the computer, such as these from The American Academy of Pediatrics:
- Never give out personal information (age, name, address, phone number).
- Never use a parent's credit card without permission.
- Never share passwords, even with friends.
- Never agree to meet in person someone you've "met" online.
- Never respond to messages that make you feel uncomfortable.
- Never use bad language or send mean messages over the internet.
Know When to Intervene
If parents discover that their children are visiting unsafe or inappropriate sites, it's time for a chat.
"Try not to take an angry or punishing tone when talking to your children, even if they have been on unsafe sites. You need to be proactive, with the safety of your child foremost," Dr. Nelson says. If children continue abusing internet privileges, they should temporarily lose use of the computer.
Careful monitoring of internet use is timeconsuming and demands energy, Dr. Nelson acknowledges. "The key to good parenting as your children get older is to stay connected with them, even if they don't want you to," she says. "It may not make you popular, but it's your job to keep them healthy."
