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Healthy Attitudes About Mental Health Disorders

"I Will Do Whatever it Takes"

Jessie is a loving, sensitive 14-year-old with a huge heart - she also has depression.

Jessie McCloud is a patient at Cincinnati Children's. Her mother agreed to talk about managing the stigma of mental illness. Below are her thoughts, as told to the author.

My name is Alisa McCloud and my daughter has a mental illness. Jessie is a loving, sensitive 14-year-old with a huge heart. She's an excellent point guard in basketball. And she has tried to commit suicide.

Jessie suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, separation anxiety and depression. And no one wants to talk about it. If she had diabetes or cancer, I think people would handle it a lot better. There is a very real stigma associated with mental illness, and it's detrimental and suffocating. It probably leads many people to avoid getting the treatment their children so badly need.

Oftentimes my family doesn't talk about it either. But that does nothing to help Jessie. What has helped is accepting the diagnosis and getting Jessie the treatment she needs.

I don't know how to erase this stigma. What I do know is this: It is not her fault that she has these disorders. She isn't faking it. She isn't doing it to get attention, and it's not a temper tantrum.

I don't know how to change the perception of mental illness in our society. What I do know is that I will do whatever it takes to help my child. I will continue to talk about her mental illness. I will not be ashamed of it. I will continue to see that she gets the treatment she needs.

Every parent wants to see their children grow up and be happy. I will do everything I can to see that happen.

If I, as Jessie's parent, don't stand up and do something for her, who will?

Dirty looks, intrusive comments. Most parents have endured these at some time when they've taken their child out in public, but parents of children with behavioral or emotional disorders meet more than their share of public disapproval.

"I encourage parents to educate themselves, then educate others," says James Myers, PhD, clinical pediatric psychologist at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center Outpatient Eastgate.

Like other medical conditions, mental health issues are disease-based, with symptoms, a typical path of development and treatment options. They affect people in all walks of life.

"Strangers often respond out of assumptions, and because they don't know. We have to correct those assumptions when an opportunity arises."

Use Teachable Moments

If a child is being loud or disruptive in a public setting and another parent makes a comment to the child's parent, Dr. Myers advises them to see it as a teachable moment. "It's hard not to feel defensive. But steel yourself, remain calm, and then present your brief, practiced, educated explanation.

"You might say, 'My child has [autism, bipolar disorder, certain developmental delays – whatever the condition is] and we're working very hard on this. This situation is difficult for him.'

"It may change the way that the other parent responds to a child the next time. If we can change the way one in five people responds, we're doing something."

Each family will find its own balance as to when to maintain privacy and when to take advantage of those opportunities. Still, he notes, even feeling empowered to make such a statement can be therapeutic for the parent.

Before they can teach others about the situation, many parents first need to educate themselves about their child's diagnosis and "stop beating themselves up. They're doing their best," Dr. Myers says.

Often, their own family members can be especially critical of the child and family. "Parents can go into much more detailed explanations with people who help care for the child. Invite family members to some of the treatment sessions, or to a support group. The harshest critic can become the greatest advocate, with education," he notes.

As children with emotional or behavioral problems move into school settings, it's important to spread the educational message to caregivers, teachers, coaches and scout leaders. "Let them know what's going on with the child, and give them some tools to help," Dr. Myers suggests.

Coach Your Child

Parents can prepare their child for unpleasant comments with the same type of practiced response they use themselves. "Help them craft an explanation to the other kids about why they do what they do. Also, I think the child should check with an adult when a comment is made, so they can use each incident to problem-solve."

As children mature, they might say, "Here's what I'm doing about this problem, so I hope you can understand." When we acknowledge things, other people will be more receptive, he observes.

Tap Into School Support

Dr. Myers reminds parents that, by law, children have the right to an education and any modification they need to sustain the learning process. "Parents can petition the school for an individualized educational plan."

Occasionally, a child requires a self-contained classroom program or partial hospitalization as offered at Cincinnati Children's. "This is a multifaceted program, with individual and group treatment," he says. "Children do their academic work with a staff trained and experienced in working with children with behavioral issues. The goal is to transition the child back into a more traditional school setting, with support.

"What people need to learn is that with most behavioral symptoms, it takes time to bring about change. There is no quick and easy solution, which is what most people who make comments want," Dr. Myers says. Yet the child and parents are working hard on the issues every day, and letting others know about their work can often turn a negative encounter into a positive teachable moment.

Resources for Families Dealing With Mental Health Disorders

Support Groups

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers education, advocacy and support groups. The Hamilton County office can redirect parents to offices in any county. Call 513-458-6670.
For those who care for children 18 or under with emotional, neurobiological or mental disorders. Meets monthly at Cincinnati Children's College Hill Campus. Call 513-458-6670 for information.
H.E.L.P. (Helping Everyone Live Positively) For young adults 18-30 learning to cope with mental health issues. Meets twice monthly at St. Monica / St. George Church, Clifton. Contact Sheila Sims, 513-287-8542, or cincyhelp@hotmail.com, for information.
Teen Mental Health Support Group 513-451-2578 or Mental Health Association 513-721-2910 ext.12

Reading Materials

Changing Minds, a newsletter by parent volunteers to effect positive change in attitudes and treatment for psychiatric illnesses. Send an email to julier.webster@cchmc.org to join the mailing list.