Ask Dr. Manfroy
How can I improve the relationship I have with my kids?
When you spend time with your children, how often are you fully engaged in the moment? Are you giving them your full attention? Or are thoughts of tomorrow's meeting, a replay of a recent conversation, or a mental grocery list dancing through your head?
Too often as parents, we're physically present, but mentally disengaged. If you're honest with yourself, you may find that you spend precious little time giving your kids your undivided attention.
It takes a lot of intellectual energy to "be there." We are pulled in many directions, trying to fulfill our numerous roles in life. But ask grandparents about regrets, and they'll lament lost quality time with their children.
No one can expect to make all time spent with their children free from distractions. But deliberately scheduling undivided time with your children is a worthy endeavor, which can have a lifelong impact.
Try planning one hour alone with each of your children per week. One-on-one time can be very rewarding. Actually scheduling your hour ahead of time will increase the likelihood of it occurring.
Ask each child how they'd like to spend your time together. Let them take the lead. Sometimes we think we're engaging in what our child wants to do, but often activities center around what is convenient for us. Make it all about them, and they'll look forward to your time together every week.
You will never regret the richly rewarding time you spend fully engaged with your children. Remember, they're only young once, so take advantage of these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities while you can.
Pierre Manfroy, MD, is a local pediatrician with Northeast Pediatrics, serving as an editorial consultant for Young and Healthy.
