Linus Knows Best: The Beauty of a Security Blanket
A blankie, a well-worn bunny, a shred of pajamas. It seems that every child clings to a soft "lovey" comfort object sometime in the early years.
The beloved object often becomes part of a child's personal history, along with those adorable first words, first steps and first haircut. The "lovey," which children often cuddle while their parents are cuddling them, can remain a steadfast pal right up to preschool and beyond.
A Shield From Fears
"The security object offers physical comfort and is very reassuring," says Joeanne Gutzwiller, PhD, a child psychologist in private practice in Fairfield. "It's essentially portable security when mom and dad can't be there.
"Most children develop a dependency on an object in the first year of life, and dependency is usually highest by age 2 or 3. This is the age when fears, such as fear of the dark and fear of dogs, start to emerge. A security object can be quite reassuring to a child who feels afraid."
As soon as parents spot a child's reliance on a particular blanket or stuffed toy, Dr. Gutzwiller recommends a quick trip to buy a duplicate. This can prevent the horrible scene when a lovey is lost or disintegrates in the wash.
"Wash it several times to get the blanket or toy as soft as the original, then introduce the duplicate so it becomes part of the rotation." If the beloved blankie or animal does fall apart, "Take the child to the store and let your little one pick out one that feels comfortable."
Starting to Separate
As children mature and start preschool, they will be better able to express their fears with words. "During this time, parents can help children label their feelings and provide reassurance that they will be reunited after separations," she counsels.
With older toddlers, some parents may wish to limit the use of the lovey to the home and/or car. Maybe it appears only at bedtime. "Help the child pick out a safe place to keep it when it's not in use such as the bed or in the car seat while the child is in preschool."
By 5, most children outgrow the need for a security blanket. But if your 5-year-old still clings, "Don't panic," Dr. Gutzwiller advises. "Children will separate from the object when they're ready. It's important that no one ridicules the child or makes the child feel ashamed of the comfort object."
During the weaning period, children will need "extra hugs, comforting and positive reassurance so they feel safe and secure. Parents can also give children something else to do with their hands, such as toys or activities."
And for that rare child who never glommed onto a lovey as a toddler? "There's no need to introduce a comfort object," Dr. Gutzwiller says. "That child's security needs are likely being met in other ways."
