Losing Sleep Over Co-Sleeping?
Know the risks and rewards before you start
Time for a bedtime story, a cuddle and a kiss.
Then, the decision: To co-sleep or not?
Parents who opt to share bed space with their child wonder about safety. Parents who choose not to co-sleep wonder about calming restless sleepers and encouraging them to self-soothe.
Keep It Safe
“For parents who want to co-sleep with their toddler, a separate mattress beside the parents’ bed is a good choice,” says Joe Leanza, MD, a pediatrician at Springdale Mason Pediatric Associates. A separate bed is a must, he stresses, if parents are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or are very deep sleepers. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines for infants are even stricter, emphasizing roomsharing rather than bed-sharing to avoid the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
Weigh the Trade-Offs
The benefits of co-sleeping are strong bonds among parents and child, and avoiding the risk of injury to a toddler who climbs out of the crib in search of mom and dad. Co-sleeping children wake up more often, Dr. Leanza says, but stay awake for a shorter time than children in their own beds.
The downside may be a serious lack of sleep for everyone. “Children this age are restless sleepers, who kick their covers off and wake up cold. They associate their parents with soothing them back to sleep, so everyone’s awake,” he says.
“Lack of sleep can lead to irritability, and recently less sleep has been linked to the risk of obesity.” A co-sleeping child can also create interrupted parent relationships.
Ready or Not?
While the research doesn’t appear to link developmental issues with co-sleeping, “Parents need to know that the toddler stage is the appropriate time to encourage independence. Children gain major power by conquering their own fears and calming themselves back to sleep,” Dr. Leanza says.
“You are doing your children a favor by teaching them to sleep alone. But some children are not ready for that. If parents sense they’re at a critical point of development, it’s not the time to transition out of the parents’ bed.”
Shifting to Solo Sleeping
Parents who want to separate from co-sleeping can emphasize the difference between their bed and the child’s. When a child cries and comes to the parents, “Take him back to his room, and stay with him if you need to,” Dr. Leanza advises. “After about three weeks, he’ll learn the lesson. He will soon learn ways of self-satisfying.”
For parents who do not want to co-sleep beyond a child’s infancy, “It’s important to have the child in her own bed before the age of 4 months. That’s when sleep association becomes ingrained, and she will look to you to soothe her back to sleep."
