Ethiopian children add to large, happy family
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| Tom and Victoria Nymberg have five children now that Yodeet and Kaleb have joined the family through an international adoption. |
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By: Karen Sparling
When Tom and Victoria Nymberg married they discussed adoption as a way to build a family. After giving birth to Paul (12), Johnny (9) and Caroline (7), they were consumed with raising three children and the thought of adoption was on the back burner — that was until Christmas 2004. After reading an article in the paper about the dire situation in Ethiopia, they made the decision to adopt during a five-minute conversation drying the dishes. They wanted to go where they were needed most. Tom researched international adoption on the Internet the next day and they liked the fact that international adoption was well established in Ethiopia.
They had no concerns about adopting a child from another race but wanted to adopt two children at the same time so they would have a sibling of the same race. Tom and Victoria were each one of six children and loved being part of a big family and their families were very supportive as well. The Nymbergs submitted their paperwork in spring 2005 and received their referral for Yodeet (now 5) and Kaleb (now 3) that fall. Dr. Staat at the IAC reviewed the referral and the children appeared to be healthy. They also attended the IAC educational series "Health Concerns and International Adoption."
Unfortunately, there were delays in Ethiopia in processing international adoptions. In March 2006, Victoria went to Ethiopia to meet with the adoption officials and spend time with Yodeet and Kaleb. This trip made a huge difference in getting their court date assigned and helped Yodeet and Kaleb transition to their new mother and family. In April 2006,Tom and Victoria returned to Ethiopia to bring home their new children.
Yodeet and Kaleb had been in a foster home for a year. Their birth mother was gravely ill from AIDS and could not care for them. Tom and Victoria requested to meet with the birth mother who took a 10-hour bus ride to meet with them. They were able to spend an hour with her taking treasured pictures and video of the children and their birth mother and learning all they could about the children's birth family. They told her the plans they had for Yodeet and Kaleb and all about the new family they were joining. Victoria says, "She has a remarkable amount of dignity about her. She gave life to these kids once and she was giving life to them again. They have two mothers — an African mother and an American mother."
After the long plane ride to the U.S., Yodeet and Kaleb landed and shouted, "We're home,we're home" in their native language. The children transitioned well and were ready to be part of the family. It was a challenge this past summer having five children at home, but the older children embraced their new siblings. Caroline loves being the big sister and especially enjoys shopping for matching outfits. Tom and Victoria try to get one-on-one time with each of the children when they can. Yodeet and Kaleb at first spoke to each other in their native language but within the first month starting speaking in English. They are in preschool four days a week and enjoy playing games on the computer. They loved their first Halloween and going "trick or treating" as well as handing out candy. Yodeet had her first dance class and both children can not wait to see snow!
Victoria experienced some let down after the children were home. She did not feel an immediate attachment as she did with her birth children. She did not anticipate that the bonding process would take time as the children transitioned into their home and learned to communicate in English. She wishes she would have read about this or been better prepared for it. The Nymbergs have also become good friends with several other adoptive families that have helped them through adjustment and transition issues. The challenges have brought Tom and Victoria closer and they are learning a lot about life through their children.Victoria says "The kids are all completely ready to be one family. I seek and find inspiration in these five children on a daily basis. If they can do it, I can do it." Each day as the bond grows deeper, they cannot imagine life without Yodeet and Kaleb.
