Parents group offers invaluable support to adoptive families
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| Parents attending a recent Parents Helping Parents meeting are: (back l to r) Mary Raab, Kim Borcherding, Terrie Meiser, Cathy Koenig, Shelli Giess, Lori Yearout; (front) Jane Larkin, Nancy Kayes (moderator), Carmen Ferguson |
By Julie Strasser
On the second Wednesday of each month a group of parents meet. The room is not fancy and the coffee is served from the cafeteria at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center, but the group is a sanctuary for those who can make it. Parents Helping Parents (PHP) is a discussion and support group for parents of internationally adopted children and is moderated Nancy Kayes.
This group consists of parents from many different backgrounds with children from all over the world. Many of the "regulars" to the group helped explain why they come to the group and what they take away from these meetings. Unanimously, several mothers agreed that the group has great advice from parents who have been through different stages of life with their children, the group is a great support network on many levels, and both the advice and support come with some good laughs. They try not to take themselves too seriously and wonder what the academics passing by think when they hear their laughter pealing into the hall.
Parents Helping Parents is unique in that it is not a typical support group. Nancy Kayes brings with her the experience of raising children from many different countries with many unique personalities. She has so much to offer and is also a great listener when the newbies have concerns. For many she is the reason to keep returning each month." Who better to discuss parenting with than the mother of 19 children and grandmother of seven," says Cathy Koening. Maggie Gieseke said she likes coming to "hear first-hand how other parents have handled the different issues of raising kids (and for the) wonderful insight that can't be found in books or magazines."
Sue Wood says "It is great to be able to come together and discuss topics and know that others have 'walked the walk' and survived and I will too!"
Each month the parents come to discuss a different topic that range from how to deal with sleep issues or creating a life book, to dealing with the adoption issues in our own families. Both Carmen Ferguson and Shelli Giess said part of the reason they enjoy coming to the monthly meetings is that they do not feel judged, as other adoptive mothers just understand." I think that the greatest thing about PHP is that no one judges anyone else for their perspective or how their family was built. Many people who have not gone through the adoption process tend to ask many very personal questions or make comments that they don't realize are not acceptable. Everyone in PHP can relate to that and therefore no one feels they've been judged," explains Carmen Ferguson. So whether the topic is how to deal with the rude comments we hear about adoption or how to deal with food issues, the group is a great support.
Plan to join these parents every second Wednesday, 10–11:30 a.m. in room D2.20 of the Sabin Education Center (Location D) at Cincinnati Children's. To register or for more information contact Robin Gordon at robin.gordon@cchmc.org or 513-636-2877, opt. 3.
