In the steps of Genghis Khan
By: Bob Burroughs
Quick — where's Kazakhstan on the map of the world? "When Kazakhstan was first suggested to us as we began the journey to create our family, I was thinking the Golden Horde, Genghis Khan, the steppes," says Nancy. In fact, the former Soviet republic, bordering Russia, Mongolia and China, is the ninth largest country in area in the world. For Mark Bever and Nancy Burns it is much more than that. It is also the original home of their three adopted children — Andrew and Emily, both five years old, and William, three years old.
Mark and Nancy were married in their forties, and they figured "at best,we would have one child," explains Nancy. So, if they wanted to have a family — and both knew they did — they were likely to adopt.
But why Kazakhstan? Mark and Nancy chose the Atlanta-based adoption agency, World Partners Adoption, run by Jim and Cindy Harding, who suggested Kazakhstan."Jim and Cindy adopted their own children from Kazakhstan and have now dedicated their lives to helping other Kazakh children find families.We put ourselves in their hands and we had a fantastic experience," says Nancy.
They first adopted Andrew and Emily (not biologically related) in May 2002, who were ten-and-a-half months old with birthdays separated by only 16 days. Both Mark and Nancy flew to Almaty, the largest city in Kazakhstan, where Andrew and Emily were born. Kazakhstan has regulations that both parents must travel to the country and spend two weeks bonding with the child for four hours per day, two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon at the orphanage.At first Andrew was fearful, clinging to the orphanage staff and reluctant to be alone with Mark and Nancy. But after four days, they were both crying when it was time for Mark and Nancy to return to their apartment after the visit.
As many adoptive parents do, Mark and Nancy found it difficult to leave their children at the end of these visits. "I felt like these were my children now and I didn't want to leave them," Nancy recalls.While at first Nancy and Mark wondered at the time they spent bonding, they both came to realize that the long time made the connection stronger for the long plane trip home.
The 26-hour flight home to the U.S.was made lighter by a chance encounter with music legend James Brown and his band. In Moscow, the band boarded the plane for their flight home.As people boarded the plane in first class, Nancy could see their trepidation at two infants on board for a 10-hour flight, yet the band members loosened up the crowd. "You could see the look [of dismay] on people's faces as they entered the cabin and saw two little kids." The drummer held Andrew while they ate dinner and was jocular despite Andrew's having spit up on him. By the end of the flight, several passengers were playing with the children.
Two years later Mark and Nancy returned to Kazakhstan to adopt William, from the smaller town of Uralsk. So far, things are going very well at home. Nancy reports, "All three bonded right away." Both Nancy and Mark work at the same law firm, which allows a certain flexibility in scheduling work hours. Other adjustment issues went well also.There were no language issues, since all three children were adopted relatively young, although William does go to therapy for speech and small motor skills. Nancy theorizes that having come from a smaller town, he didn't get as much stimulation in the orphanage as Andrew and Emily did in the much larger city of Almaty.
The family came to the International Adoption Center at Cincinnati Children's through the Hardings at World Partners Adoption, who had listed the IAC as one of a number of resources. "Since Children's is right here,we checked it out and liked what we saw," Nancy explains. Before they left to get their children, they set up appointments at the IAC.Within a week of their return the children saw Dr. Staat. "The IAC continues to be a valuable resource for our family," Nancy concludes.
Anyone who has adopted from Kazakhstan or is considering adopting from Kazakhstan can contact Nancy at nburns@smrslaw.com for information on the annual Midwest Kazakhstan Group summer picnic.
