"My child has died...what do I do?"
The Department of Pastoral Care at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center extends our sympathy as you grieve the death of your child. We recognize that this is a difficult time for you and your family. Few parents are truly prepared for the death of their child, and the prospect of making arrangements for your child's funeral may add to the pain. One way that we can help is to provide you with some basic information about the arrangements you will need to make for your child.
Funeral Home and Services
- One of the first decisions you will need to make is which funeral home to use. If you do not know a funeral director, ask family members, neighbors or someone in your faith community. They can help you identify someone they are familiar with or have used in the past. It's also important to know that some funeral homes may provide services for small infants at cost. Discuss your financial concerns with the funeral director to see what type of assistance they can provide.
- If you are from out of state, you will want to identify a funeral home from your home area. They will work with a Cincinnati-based funeral home to bring your child's body back to your home town.
- If you are a member of a religious community (e.g. church, synagogue, mosque, etc.) you may wish to contact the clergy person from your congregation. This person can assist you in making arrangements for the service.
- A funeral, memorial or committal service can take place at a funeral home, church / congregation or at the graveside. A funeral director will work with you to make these arrangements.
There are two basic options available for you to consider: burial and cremation.
Burial
If you choose to have your child's body buried, you will need to think about several things as you select a cemetery:
- Is it near your home so you can visit?
- Does it meet your religious and / or cultural requirements?
- Is maintenance included in the cost?
- Is there additional space for other family members?
- What are the restrictions on type of monument, plants, flowers or decorations you can put on the grave?
A funeral director will be able to help answer your questions and provide the detailed information you need in order to make your decisions.
Cremation
Some parents prefer the option of cremation. It's usually less costly than burial and you have the option of burying, keeping, or scattering your child's ashes. If you choose cremation, you may still have calling hours, viewing and a memorial service if you like. Cremation may be the more practical choice if you plan to move out of the area at some time in the future.
Pastoral Care Assistance
Once a decision is made regarding a funeral home or cremation, call the Cincinnati Children's operator at 513-636-4200, or 1-800-344-2462, and ask to speak with the chaplain on call. The following information will be needed:
Funeral home or crematory name
Address with zip code
Telephone number with area code
We must hear from you directly regarding your choice of a funeral home or crematory. After we have received confirmation from you, the chaplain will then contact the agency regarding the release of your child's body from Cincinnati Children's. Please note that the choice and completion of an autopsy and / or organ and tissue donation may affect the timing of the release of your child's body.
Transportation of your Child's Body
Sometimes family members wish to transport their child's body to the funeral home or crematory themselves, or even take the body home for a brief period of time. If this is something you would like to do, special arrangements will need to be made. The chaplain can assist you with this process.
The funeral home will make arrangements to transport your child’s body unless they are instructed otherwise.
