Siblings of children who have gone through a traumatic event can also have secondary trauma or feel like a “secondary victim.”

Each child grieves and handles trauma in their own way. A secondary victim is someone who has the feelings and impacts of trauma without directly going through the trauma itself. It is common for siblings to have emotional reactions when other children in the family go through a traumatic event.

With your love and support these feelings will decrease.

The sibling may have feelings like:

  • Anxiety about what will happen next
  • Feeling helplessness or wanting to control what is happening
  • Fear or confusion about the future
  • Lonely or sad
  • Worried that life won’t get back to the way it was

The sibling may:

  • Act out or be irritable
  • Be quieter than usual or spend more time in my room
  • Complain of tummy aches or headaches
  • Act younger than my age

Your Response Can Help

Feelings

One of the best ways you can support the siblings is to recognize how they are feeling. Recognize these are signs of stress. Know they will get better with your support.

Honesty

Give simple and honest answers about the event. Allow time for siblings to ask questions.

Routines

Keep the family routine as much as possible. Prepare them when a routine will be changed.

Other Adults

Let the other adults, such as teachers, childcare provers and extended family, know that the siblings need extra support during this time.

When you begin to recognize secondary trauma, their experiences can be supported. The healing process can begin. Continue to allow them time and space to process their feelings in a safe and supported way.

Remember, Healing Takes Time