How to Do Mental Health Check-Ins with Kids
- Ask specific questions about an activity or thing you know that happened in their day. Ex: Who did you sit next to at lunch? How was your math test? What activity did you do in girl scouts?
- Then ask specific follow-up questions to show that you were paying attention and you are there to help if they need it. Ex: What did you like best? What could you have done differently?
- Ask even when you don't want to know the answer, especially with teens. We need to know if they're thinking about suicide engaging in sex or using drugs. Asking about suicide isn't going to make them suicidal. In fact, teens with suicidal thoughts are often relieved when they're asked.
- Determine the right cadence. Some kids like frequent check-ins, and others don't. Ask them about it and work through the right cadence with them.
- Use technology where appropriate. There are mood tracking apps out there that can be helpful for some families. Kids can record how they're feeling each day. Daylio is an example of one.
- Stay calm. Sometimes kids have big things to tell their parents and they delay telling them because they're worried about how they will react. We need to stay calm, at least on the outside, and create a space for them to be heard.
Warning Signs of Suicide
- Visiting, calling or texting people to say goodbye.
- Looking for ways to die, such as researching methods on the internet or gathering guns, ropes, pills or knives.
- Making direct or indirect statements about death, suicide or suicide ideation/plan.
- Preoccupation with death or dying.
- Sudden and extreme changes in mood or behaviors (e.g. changes in routine, behavior, appearance or grooming habits).
- Increased substance abuse.
- Reckless, self-destructive and/or high-risk behaviors.
- Giving away prized possessions.
- Not tolerating praise or rewards.
- Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, fatigue.
- Signs of sever depression, including persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood, loss of interest in hobbies or activities, rage or uncontrolled anger.
- Expression of any of these thoughts or feelings:
- Trapped or desperate to escape an intolerable situation.
- Humiliation.
- Being a burden to others.
- Worthlessness.
- Hopelessness.
- Purposelessness or having no reason to live.
